Plus Size

LARGER THAN LIFE
PLEASANTLY PLUMP
BIG
HEAVY
FAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ASSSSSSSSSSSSS

You could say I'm feeling slightly self-conscious today. If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be my stomach. I cannot comprehend why that's where I carry my weight. I can comprehend how: I do not exercise on a regular basis and I am, while not a terrible junk food aficionado, not the healthiest of eaters. I am not, nor will I ever be, a skinny girl. I was not born with super speed metabolism, unlike a few of my bestest of friends, and I am insanely jealous when I actually take the time to think about it (and today happens to be one of those days). If I ever want to be "thin" or in shape (according to society's appropriate standards), I have to work really hard at it and most days I'm not feeling so ambitious. I'd by lying if I said I wanted to lose weight solely for the purpose of better health. What's so wrong with wanting to look good in a tight dress (without the help of spandex)? I will tell you this: the only person I want to look good for is myself and that's the damn truth. Pigs will fly when the day comes that I lose weight for a guy, and I honestly don't respect any woman who does.

I'm just sick of the judgement overweight people like myself go through on a daily basis. I don't have it as bad as some people, because I'm not obese, but I've gotten looks from eating an ice cream cone. People assume, because one person is overweight, that they are a lazy fatass who eats their feelings all damn day. I'll tell you this: I am no fucking lazy fatass. SURE, I could get out and exercise ON TOP OF waking up at 6:30am, getting two elementary school kids ready for school, taking them to school, taking myself to school, picking the girls up from school, watching them for another hour, and then doing homework. Yeah, let me get straight to the gym right when I'm done writing five page essays, reading textbooks, and analyzing articles. I'll get riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight on that.

I'll tell you this as well: I don't eat any more than my size-zero best friend, much less exercise any less than her. Yet, just because of my size, I get one more label than her. It sucks, it really does and there's nothing I can do about it because the norm of our society is "think is in" and the only way I'll really be able to make life easier for myself is just make that extra effort to lose weight. And when will that be happening? I have no idea. Right now, I'm happy. It does kind of suck getting asked: "Oh, you're having a baby?" with a friendly smile, no malice intended. I guess that's a wake up call of sorts, but not one I'm willing to answer just yet...